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Zippy One-Liners

  • What is the sharpest thing in the world? 
    A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole. 


  • A skeleton was trying to fart in a crowded place. 
    But in the end it couldn't 'cos it had no guts. 


  • What's the definition of bravery? 
    A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!


  • What happened to the blind skunk? 
    He fell in love with a fart. 


  • What do you get if you eat beans and onions?
    Tear Gas.

  • You're so poor: 
    You had to fart in your pocket to make a scent. 


  • Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste? 


  • Why don't little girls fart? 
    Because they don't have assholes until they're married. 


  • What do you call a fart? 
    A turd honking for the right of way. 


  • If I wanted to hear from an asshole I would fart. 


  • What did the maxi-pad say to the fart? 
    You are the wind beneath my wings. 


  • What do you call "fart" in German? 


  • Your ass is so tight: 
    You fart and only dogs can hear it. 


  • What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public?
    A private tutor! 


  • Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing.


Confucius say:
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.



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